Telegram promises not to steal your girlfriend and enslave your children

    Telegram – now with girlfriend insurance

    Telegram has promised not to betray you by stealing your girlfriend to cover fees for the amount of sms fees it saves you (source). Experts are worried other apps might. After all this is what developers make apps for to maximize their chances of stealing that hot chic you’ve managed to impress while he was busy learning to code and understand complex software licensing terms.

    Will you have ads in my private chats and groups? Or sell my data? Or steal my beloved and enslave my children?

    Telegram boldly says “No.” and claims it has no such plans in future as well leading us to the assumption that Telegram CEO is happy with his beloved. We’re awaiting more information from Whatsapp, Signal, Facebook, Snapchat & Instagram who haven’t spoken on this topic and may secretly have plans to steal away Jennifer from you forever.


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